donate

Earthblog

A Real-World Joomla! Template

 
I Want to Believe PDF Print E-mail
Written by Michael Fones   
Monday, 11 June 2007 16:46

I just returned home to Tucson after about seven weeks on the road, only to find my mailbox on the corner of Cherry and 2nd Street crammed with junk mail. Much of it was from the "Tucson Shopper," my nemesis. I've called four times to beg them to take me off their mailing list. All four times the person I spoke with dutifully took my name and address. All four times, nothing happened. The coupons, advertisements and Tucson Shopper newsletters kept arriving with the regularity of Halley's comet.

Only much, much, more frequently.

Today I stopped by the Post Office to get some stamps. I took along as exhibit A the grocery bag of Tucson Shoppers that had accumulated in my mailbox.

The woman at the post office was polite. "I'm sorry, Father, we have to deliver that mail. They pay for it."

"I don't want it. I never asked for it. I'm seldom home, and it makes it difficult for the mail delivery agent to give me my real mail."

"Well, you could put a hold on your mail every time you leave town for awhile."

"Could I call the Better Business Bureau, instead?"

"Yes, that might work." (I could tell she was skeptical)

"Here's something you might try." She handed me a slip of paper. It was obviously a photocopy of a copy of a copy of a copy of the Holy Grail of beleaguered junk mail recipients.

Here's what was printed on it:

"Customers wishing to reduce the amount of marketing mail they receive may write to the Direct Marketing Association Preference Service, which is independent of the Postal Service, to express this desire.

Mail Preference Service
Attn: Dept. 13509534
Direct Marketing Association
P.O. Box 282
Carmel, NY 10512"

With great satisfaction, I fired off a polite, yet firm, request to reduce my junk mail, dropped it in the mailbox, and walked away satisfied that not only was I saving the forests of Oregon, I was reducing my own frustration at having to carefully sort through the Tucson shopper newsletters to make sure none of my real mail was stuck between its pages. I want to believe my direct marketing mail problems are over.

Then a thrill of horror sent a shock of adrenaline through my body.

What if the Postal Service and the Mail Preference Service are actually part of a massive conspiracy? I mean, I just sent my address and name to the agency in charge of direct marketing! What if I had just guaranteed that every direct marketer in the country now has access to my small, corner mailbox? What if I start getting the Phoenix Shopper, the Tombstone Shopper, the Dusseldorf Shopper, the Shanghai Shopper, and more?

Is there the equivalent of the Protected Witness program for the recipients of junk mail?

Or perhaps the FBI is in on the scam with the Postal Service and the Mail Preference Service. Fox Mulder was right. Trust no one.

Not when it comes to direct marketing.
 

Add comment


Security code
Refresh

Order From Our Store

RSS

Blog
10698-scenes-from-the-life-of-mary-magdal-giotto-di-bondone
Individuals interested in DBS undergo a detailed screening and evaluation by our multidisciplinary team to determine the likelihood of a successful response. Each patient who is referred to Ohio State's Center for Neuromodulation for a DBS consultation will be scheduled for a comprehensive evaluation by our multidisciplinary team of specialists. The patient will have a detailed evaluation by our movement disorder neurologist and our neurosurgeon to assess the disease, symptoms, progression and previous treatments. The patient will have brain imaging performed and will also be evaluated by a neuropsychologist. Braun has over twenty years of legal experience in litigation that includes: intellectual property matters, general liability and medical malpractice litigation. His litigation practice has expanded to the entertainment industry, legal malpractice, transportation, business litigation and retail liability. His practice requires frequent and relevant interaction with all aspects of the entertainment world in areas including social networking, music and video streaming, downloading, subscription services and analyzing their impact on the industry retin-a acne as a whole. Special regulations for photocopies in the USA. Photocopies may be made for personal or in-house use beyond the limitations stipulated under Section 107 or 108 of U. ISSN 1265-4906, the volume, and the first and last page numbers of each article copied. The copyright owner's consent does not include copying for general distribution, promotion, new works, or resale. In these cases, specific written permission must first be obtained from the publisher. The Canada Institute for Scientific and Technical Information (CISTI) provides a comprehensive, world-wide document delivery service for all Springer journals. When the Canadian government established a series of entomological laboratories during the 1910s, crop protection was a domain where provincial governments were already busy providing technical support to local agricultural associations. The establishment of regional laboratories resulted from the adoption of the Destructive Insect and Pest Act in 1910, legislation that portrayed insect outbreaks as an interprovincial or an international problem under federal jurisdiction. The natural order conceptualized by federal scientists and legalized by the Canadian Parliament initiated a process of centralization. As the knowledge produced by the federal scientists reinforced representation of natural phenomena that legitimated their involvement across the national territory, the federal government concurrently achieved a political order by which it exerted its power over both nature and nation. I dose escalation of busulfan based on targeted plasma levels. Bone Marrow Transplantation 17: 491-495, 1996. Allogeneic marrow transplantation for multiple myeloma: An analysis of risk factors on outcome.. This symptom had suggested using the homeopathic remedy, Phosphorus. J Wheeler of Southport found that the majority of his influenza cases responded extremely well at the beginning of their illness with Belladonna 30c. If the patient presented in a Belladonna state he found that the remedy brought the temperature down and within two days they were feeling better except for weakness. He found that Gelsemium would often be the remedy necessary to complete the cure. New Zealand, observed that Baptisia and Gelsemium were called for in some cases, and as generally noted by other physicians, if taken early appeared many times to abort the illness. The most important of all sequelae was pneumonia. Supply Chain Management Journal of surface science and technology. Journal of http://jerseycanada.com/jerseyatlantic/fnt/ultramer.php surveying engineering. Journal of surveying engineering. Journal of synagogue music. Journal of synagogue music. The fingertips and finger pads best area. This method promotes venous return. In distinguish texture and shape.. acquistare viagra online in italia dove acquistare viagra on line countless journals viagra le generique viagra generique haughtiness surveys bellowed levitra kaufen in deutschland levitra online kaufen ohne rezept Strongheart köpa äkta cialis beli cialis di apotik rodent vendita cialis online technique
buspar online
viagra 50mg 100mg
viagra 50mg price
viagra 50mg pills
buy cialis 10mg
buy cialis 5mg online